She‘s got the kind of look that defies gravity 
She‘s the greatest cook 
And she‘s fat free 
She‘s been to private school 
And she speaks perfect French 
She‘s got the perfect friends 
Oh isn‘t she cool 
She practices Tai Chi 
She‘d never lose her nerve 
She‘s more than you deserve 
She‘s just far better than me 

So don‘t bother 
I won‘t die of deception 
I promise you won‘t ever see me cry 
Don‘t feel sorry 
And don‘t bother 
I‘ll be fine 
But she‘s waiting 
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine 
So don‘t bother, be unkind 

I‘m sure she doesn‘t know 
How to touch you like I would 
I beat her at that one good 
Don‘t you think so? 
She‘s almost six feet tall 
She must think I‘m a flea 
I‘m really a cat you see 
And it‘s not my last life at all 

So don‘t bother 
I won‘t die of deception 
I promise you won‘t ever see me cry 
Don‘t feel sorry 
Don‘t bother 
I‘ll be fine 
But she‘s waiting 
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine 
So don‘t bother, be unkind 

For you, I‘d give up all I own 
And move to a communist country 
If you came with me, of course 
And I‘d file my nails so they don‘t hurt you 
And lose those pounds, and learn about football 
If it made you stay, but you won‘t, but you won‘t 

So don‘t bother, 
I‘ll be fine, I‘ll be fine, I‘ll be fine, I‘ll be fine 
Promise you won‘t ever see me cry 
And after all I‘m glad that I‘m not your type 
Promise you won‘t ever see me cry.