Voiceover:
Mr. Billy Flynn and the press conference riot. Notice how his mouth never moves, almost

Reporters: Where'd you come from?
Billy (as Roxie): Mississippi
Reporters: And your parents?
Billy (as Roxie): Very wealthy.
Reporters: Where are they now?
Billy (as Roxie): Six feet under.

Billy:
But she was granted one more start

Billy (as Roxie):
The Convent of the Sacred Heart!

Reporters: When'd you get here?
Billy (as Roxie): 1920
Reporters: How old were you?
Billy (as Roxie): Don't remember
Reporters: Then what happened?

Billy (as Roxie):
I met Amos
And he stole my heart away
Convinced (conduced) me to elope one day

Mary Sunshine:
Oh the poor girl,
I can’t believe what you’ve been through.
A convent girl! A run-away marriage!
Now tell us, Roxie.
Who's Fred Casely?

Billy (as Roxie): My ex-boyfriend.
Reporters: Why'd you shoot him?
Billy (as Roxie): I was leavin'.
Reporters: Was he angry?

Billy (as Roxie): Like a madman
Still I said, Fred, move along.

Billy:
She knew that she was doin' wrong.

Reporters: Then describe it.
Billy (as Roxie): He came toward me.
Reporters: With a pistol?
Billy (as Roxie): From my bureau
Reporters: Did you fight him?
Billy (as Roxie): Like a tiger.

Billy:
He had strength and she had none.

Billy (as Roxie):
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
For the gun.

Billy and reporters:
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun.

Billy:
Understandable, understandable
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!

Reporters: How're you feeling?
Billy (as Roxie): Very frightened
Reporters: Are you sorry?
Roxie: Are you kidding?
Reporters: What's your statement?

Billy (as Roxie):
All I'd say is
Though my choo-choo jump the track
I'd give my life to bring him back

Reporters: And?
Billy (as Roxie): Stay away from
Reporters: What?
Billy (as Roxie): Jazz and liquor
Reporters: And?
Billy (as Roxie): And the men who
Reporters: What?
Billy (as Roxie): Play for fun
Reporters: And what?
Billy (as Roxie): That's the thought that
Reporters: Yeah
Billy (as Roxie): Came upon me
Reporters: When?

Billy (as Roxie):
When we both reached for the gun!

Mary Sunshine:
Understandable, understandable

Billy and Mary Sunshine:
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!

Reporters:
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for

Billy: Let me hear it

Reporters:
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun
For the gun.

Billy: A little louder!

Reporters:
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun, the gun,

Billy: Oh yes

Reporters:
The gun,the gun
Oh yes. they both reached
For the gun
For the gun.

Billy: Now you got it!

Billy and reporters:
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun.

Billy:
Both reached for the...gun

Reporters:
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
Both reached for the gun.